Website me: www.htgawp.com
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My husband and I have a long chat about everything, from how he's been addressing white privilege with other white people when people of color aren't around, to our continuing preschool indecision. And, I reveal to him that I'm not going to get our daughter a Christmas gift this year. But, Santa might get her something.
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I talk a good game about respectful parenting and child-directed learning but deep down, I'm a typical Guyanese mother. What does that mean? My friend Nyoka Acevedo and I break it down in this episode. She's a committed educator and passionate Restorative Justice advocate. And, Nyoka is a Puerto Rican mother trying to sift through a lot of historical bullshit that weighs us down. This episode is full of questions. Not a lot of answers. And, a great tip at the end about how to teach your toddler not to scream in your face when they want your attention.
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I watch entirely too many YouTube daily vlogs and thus got it into my head that I could do a daily podcast about parenting. So, in this episode I pop in every few days to update you on the day to day joys and struggles of respectfully parenting a toddler. We had a HUGE event happen during this week that I had to document. My husband even makes and appearance! As usual, I ask a lot of questions to all the listeners so I don't feel so alone. So, let me know what you think!
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I sit down and have a loooong chat with my new friends Pastaveia and Sean from EcoConsciousLifestyle! They're expecting their first baby and plan to maintain their minimalist lifestyle. I had questions! They are also interested in respectful parenting. I had answers! We also got in to a much needed discussion about how both of these life choices have a distinct impact on us as black parents. Stay tuned to the end where I regale them with my positive birth story in an effort to take the fear out of the big day.
Show notes:
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I don't even know where to begin when it come to saving up for my kid's college education. Should we try to save for all 4 years or just a set amount and supplement the rest with scholarships and grants? Is our kid doomed to a life of debt if she takes out loans? What if she doesn't even want to go to college? I asked Linda Stern, brilliant personal finance journalist, and one of my best friends' mom, all these questions and more. Lots of helpful tips that put mind at ease and even gave me a reason to maybe have a second kid.
You can tweet Linda @lindastern
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My husband and I answer some questions about trying to teach Lucy Spanish, parenting while tired, and what to do when your kid won't let you read to them. Lucy makes several appearances in this episode which highlights the fact that we're clearly not parenting experts.
Show notes:
Janet Lansbury links, again: podcast and audiobooks
Here's the article I mention about raising a truly bilingual child: https://www.nytimes.com/2017/07/10/well/family/raising-a-truly-bilingual-child.html
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I can't believe it's already time for us to start thinking about preschool. My kid only just turned 2! Am I late to the search party?Should toddlers be doing "STEM" work? How many kids should be in the classroom? I sat down with my kid's best friend's mom, and my new pal, Josephine Saunders, to get some tips about the preschool process. Josephine's a school teacher and has put one other kid through preschool. So I wanted to pick her brain.
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It's been so long! My husband and I are just shooting the breeze about life and how hard it is to clean our house. Also, neighbor drama! And more, yes, MORE toddler tantrums.
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I've been struggling between the trying to instill empathy and kindness in my daughter and not trying impose strict manners and politeness rules on her. I'm walking the line between respectful parenting and respectability politics. But, I know there has got to an appropriate balance. So, I called in my favorite parenting podcaster, Melitsa Avila. She gives me 10 Social Life Skills that can help all of us guide our kids as they navigate social interactions. We talk about everything from helping them cope with being judged by the color of their skin to showing them how to disagree and/or apologize to people in an appropriate way. This episode is long, and it's worth taking notes!
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It's official, we have a 2 year old! My husband and I are astounded that we somehow have a kept our daughter alive and happy for 2 years now. We talk about what it's been like so far and what we hope the future will bring with a real deal toddler.
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We all want our kids to be healthy eaters. But, like most parenting stuff, it's so haaaard! Especially when we're not exactly leaders in the healthy eating realm. But, is it possible to transition your kid from eating only nuggets and fries to gobbling up spinach and quinoa? I asked Malika Pham how she made the switch with her two little ones. We also chat about how her son's autism diagnosis helped her to get more intentional and creative with how she feeds her family.
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My husband and I talk to a renowned couples therapist about marriage and personal growth while parenting. The wonderful Esther Boykin, LMFT weighs in on how to support connection between partners and within the entire family. We also talk about being naked around our kids and how to handle parenting disagreements without resentment. She also tells us the 2 most important elements that will help us be better partners and better parents. Hint: it's all about working on ourselves first.
S h o w N o t e s
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Just me, on my own, again. But, I think I've had a breakthrough about potty training. It's a pretty simple plan that I'm going to be super easy breezy about and not at all worry that I'm doing it wrong. But, just in case I read about 16 parenting articles on the subject. Here are a few of them:
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No guest this week so I asked my daughter to be on the podcast with me. But, she only lasted for a couple of minutes. She's got places to be, apparently. So, I give a short recap of our week and some of the stuff I've been thinking about lately when it comes to parenting. Specifically, when and why should a toddler stop using a pacifier. And, more potty training angst.
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My pal Amanda is back with me for this episode. We have a much needed rant about dealing with toddlers. We also do some pretty deep work about our efforts to parent differently than we were parented. Sometimes that means looking at some of the traumatic experiences we had as children and then undoing that mindset so that we don't impose it on our children. Like it said, it gets deep.
Show Notes:
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Our daughter joins my husband and me on this episode. We talk about some of the topics HTGAWP listeners have said they'd like to hear us talk about.
Here are some of the linkable things I mentioned in this episode:
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My daughter has been having A LOT of...emotional outbursts, shall we say. I know it's because she's frustrated or overwhelmed or just feeling out of sorts. But, how can I help her? And also, how can I get ok with her feelings? I asked Kelley Carboni-Woods to teach me her wise ways. She's an author, yoga instructor, mother of 2 tots, a Zen Master (my words, not hers) and a self-described recovering yeller. She's got a ton of great advice about everything from cleansing breaths to daily mantras.
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Man, we had a sweet window of about 4 weeks when my daughter would go straight to sleep at 7pm and then not make a peep until about 6am. Now bedtime is all over the place and we're in and out of her room doing a dog and pony show just to get her to lay down and chill for a few hours. My friend Vanessa Johnson was also having a crisis trying to teach her baby how to sleep. So she hired an expert to help. In this episode I grill Vanessa for all the secrets that this wise woman taught her.
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I convinced my husband to come back on the podcast for a special episode about how our daughter keeps rejecting him. I hope she doesn't hate us when she grows up. Please comment on the website if you have any advice or ideas for us.
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As a somewhat reluctant stay-at-home mom I've been dragging my feet when it comes to meal planning and general household management. So I recruited Mimi from Unlikely Martha to help me get it together. She's got sooo much wisdom to share. But, don't get it twisted! She'll be the first person to tell you that she's not perfect either. I think that's why so many folks love her. We chat about everything from giving our children plenty of affection and tenderness to "time chunking" mundane tasks with a stop watch. She's doing it all.
This episode is so chock full of info that I'm bringing back the full show notes. Here we go:
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My friend Amanda joins me to talk about how neither of us know how to properly potty train our toddlers. We also chat about her life and her recent move from Japan to the U.S.A.
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This episode is the second half of my conversation with Bree Colingo. It's all over the place. And, it's fun!
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I had a long talk with my friend Bree Colingo last night after she texted me in a panic. Her son said something to her that I've feared my daughter might say to me one day: "I wish I was white." I asked Bree if she would come on the podcast and talk to me a bit about how she reacted and her feeling about the whole event. The conversation got deep.
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We take a look at some of the things we'd like to accomplish, not just in 2017, but for our lifetime. My husband and I have another serious conversation about respectful parenting and how it intersects with race and gender. Why isn't anyone else talking about this? And, if they are, where can I find them?
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The deeper I get into this parenting thing the more I want to do things differently than I ever dreamed. Millions of people are opting out of traditional school for their children and entering the world of homeschooling. Or, they are taking the plunge and unschooling all together. But is it right for me and my kid? On this episode I sit down with fellow parenting podcaster and, future unschooler, Jen Lumanlan. We discuss a lot of the research she's come across regarding this new trend and why she thinks it's right for her daughter. I also ask every basic question there is about homeschooling.
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